Remus Lupin's Fantabulous Adventure
by smushly
Summary: Remus gets woken up too early and experiences something that will change his life forever! WARNING! WEREWOLVES, RANDOMNESS, AND IMPLIED SLASH, OH MY!


Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except for my screwed up head.

A/N: Now, I figured the beginning to be the Marauders 7th year..so that would make the Golden Trio in about their…5th year. Anyways, enjoy!

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"Hey…hey Remus."

Remus buried his head under his pillow and groaned. It was early; too early for a boy who would be transforming tonight. It couldn't be after…

He lifted the corner of his pillow and squinted at the clock. 7:27. He let out another drawn out groan and burrowed further into the covers.

"Reeeeeeemus." A hand reached out and shook him hard. "Come on Moony, I know you're awake."

There was a long pause where Remus thought that maybe the voice of one Sirius Black had given up. But he wasn't that lucky. Feeling him climb onto his four poster, he scowled, even though he knew Sirius couldn't see his face.

The bed began to bounce as the boy jumped up and down. Remus growled and kicked, hitting nothing but thin air. Sirius laughed as he tried again, still missing his target.

He tried one more time and finally, his foot connected with what felt like the other boy's knee. He smirked as he heard a yelp and a satisfying thud.

"Ow! Lupin, you arse! That bloody hurt!" When Remus said nothing, the boy grinned. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Sirius cleared his throat loudly and closed his eyes tightly as he began…

"Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, dee da lee, dee da lee; there they are a standing in a row!" He began to dance around the room as he sang more obnoxiously, shaking his bum.

"Bump, bump, bump; big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! Give 'em a twist, a flick of your wrist, and here we go again! Oh, I've got-"

"SHUT UP!" Remus growled as he shot up with his hands pulling at his hair. "What did I do to deserve this?!"

Sirius smirked. "Well, gee Remmie, no need to get hysterical." His smile faded as the werewolf's face turned menacing, and after a slight pause, he bolted from the room. Remus sprinted after him, after tripping over his blankets and falling flat on his face.

Luckily for Sirius, this had slowed him down a bit, and he was only at the top of the boys staircase when he reached the Common Room. He wove his way through the crowd and threw Wormtail behind him, as to stall Moony. Peter screeched and dropped his books, covering his head with his hands as the werewolf rushed past him. Lily and James were the only ones who remained calm, never tearing their eyes away from their game of Exploding Snap.

"Looks like Sirius woke Remus up again," commented Lily.

"Mhm," replied James distractedly. "Ha!" There was a little explosion and James grinned at Lily, who's hair was singed.

"Sirius Black, get your sorry ARSE back here!" yelled Remus as they ran down the corridors.

McGonagall poked her head out of her office. "Language, Mr. Lupin!" she cried after him.

He whipped his head around, still running. "Sorry Professor!"

He looked forward again to find out that he had lost Sirius. He stopped dead with a puzzled look on his face.

"Thanks Minnie. I'll be sure to drop by again soon," Sirius said with a wink.

"Oh, that's quite alright, Mr. Black," she replied with a faint blush.

With a click of his tongue, he darted out into the corridor and ran the opposite way Moony was facing.

Remus, having smelled him, turned immediately and resumed the chase. Sirius sprinted down the corridors as fast as his legs would carry him, when he finally set eyes upon his destination. Luckily for him, the door was already there, and he through it open and barged inside.

Remus' eyes widened as he realized where he was about to step foot. He skidded to a halt so fast that he slipped and fell hard on his bum. He pulled himself backwards away from the entrance as Sirius grabbed his ankles.

"Oh, no you don't. There's no way in hell I'm going in there!" he yelled.

"Come on, Remus! Where's your sense of adventure?" barked Sirius.

Remus' eyes widened. "I don't call…that!" he said, pointing inside the room, "adventure!"

Sirius chuckled. "Oh, but Moony, that's just because you haven't tried it yet." He waggled his eyebrows. "And I think today is the perfect time to try." He pulled at the other boy's legs as hard as he could. "I'm not letting you get away this time."

At the look of determination in his companion's eyes, he sighed in defeat and let himself be pulled into the room full of scary gadgets.

--17 Years Later--

"Yup, that's the first time I tried it," Remus said. "I mean, all men do try it…they think its…abnormal. But personally, I find it rather…pleasant. I've been hooked on it since then."

Harry looked at him with a raised brow.

"Oh, you may think it odd now, but when you get older, you'll want nothing more than to let someone have their way with you."

Harry got a horrified look on his face.

"Well, okay, maybe not. I mean, not everyone enjoys the ministrations…"

Harry squeaked and ran from the room.

Remus turned to Hermione and Ginny. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

Ginny giggled and Hermione said, "Remus, some men just aren't in well enough in touch with their sexuality. Like, Ronald, for example. He's too embarrassed to admit that he's been listening to this whole conversation at the door, and that he thinks he might enjoy-"

"Hermione, how did you know?!" Ron choked out.

Hermione rolled her eyes as Ginny rolled around on the floor, laughing at her brother.

"So Remus, can we come with you?" Hermione asked seriously.

"Why, of course Hermione! And why don't you tag along also, Ron," Lupin said as he rose from his chair and headed toward the door.

Ron looked weary. "I don't know…"

"Oh, come on!" said Remus as the girls followed him outside. "There is nothing wrong with a day at the salon, no matter what sex you are. Everyone is entitled to a make over here and there."

Fin.

A/N: I know! Totally stupid and random! I really just typed whatever popped into my head. I had absolutely no plan for this! Spur of the moment one shot! Anywhoo, hoped you liked it, and I await your fabulous reviews!


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